Burnout Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., Amelia Nagoski, DMA
The Secret to Unlocking the stress cycle.
In two words,
In Burnout we will see how you can get yourself out of burnout. This book is for those women who have forgotten to pay attention to their own needs in meeting the needs of others. This book tells how they can make their life fun.
Who is it for?
- Those who feel sad and tired all the time.
- Those who want to know how to be happy.
- Those who want to reduce their stress.
About the Author
Emily Nagoski is a writer best known for her book Come As You Are. She is a sex educator who teaches women how to be themselves and be happy. Amelia Nagoski is a music professor. She is the twin sister of Emily Nagoski, who works in the fields of arts and science. The name of her seminar is Beyond Burnout Prevention, in which she tells people how to get out of burnout.
Why should you read this book?
Even today women have to face many problems. Society always teaches them that their job is to settle another person's house. In films too, the role of women is only so that the hero can find someone to love. In fulfilling all these expectations, they forget to take care of themselves somewhere. This book tells them how they can fight these expectations and start their own life. How they can reduce their stress, get a good night's sleep, be happy and find their purpose in life. How can you cure burnout? How can you keep yourself happy. With this you can reduce your stress.
Ch1: We get burnout when we get caught up in our emotions.
Sometimes we go on working all day but in the evening we feel that we have not done anything yet. Sometimes we feel that what we are doing is of no use and may not be of any use. Sometimes we have a lot to do but we don't feel like doing anything.
This is called burnout. In 1975, Herbert Feudenberger gave 3 reasons for burnout. The first reason among them is to care too much about something. The second reason is depersonalization, in which we start to feel that we no longer care about others or are unable to sympathize with them. And the third reason is the feeling that no matter how much we work, we are not able to achieve anything. Now let us try to understand why all these feelings arise in us.
The reason for all these being born is only one reason to get entangled in your feelings. Emotion is like a tunnel. A tunnel begins, then looks the same for a long time, and eventually ends. In the same way, even after a feeling starts, when it stays with you for a long time. So you do not see any change in yourself which makes you dissatisfied.
That's why the people who are most prone to burnout are people who care about and help others. Doctors, teachers and parents for example. About 20% to 30% of teachers and 52% of doctors admit that they feel a lot of burnout. Also, it has become a common thing for parents to feel burnout. But we can get rid of this burnout.
Ch 2: Excess stress can harm your body, so you should adopt ways to reduce it.
Before we understand that what is the harm to us due to stress, let us see why stress happens to us. In earlier times, we used to get stressed when we felt some kind of danger.
After realizing this danger, tension was created in our body which prepared us to run away. For this, he used to produce a hormone called epinephrine, which pushes blood into our muscles. Because of this, our blood pressure used to increase and the heart beat used to get faster.
Our breathing became faster so that we could have more strength to run away. Along with this, other processes of our body like digestion, immune system and growth system used to slow down so that we could use more and more energy to escape. In simple words, in today's time you do not have to run away from the unicorn.
That's why when you are stressed all the time, your blood pressure starts rising, the risk of heart attack increases, the immune system starts weakening, due to which you get sick easily and at the same time your digestion also starts weakening. Due to which your food is not digested and you start having stomach disease. All these things happen when you don't do the work your body is preparing you for.
Stress happens to us so that we can run away from danger, but because today we are not threatened by anything, we do not run and we start having all these problems. But if you make a habit of exercising, you can reduce your stress. Whenever you are stressed, you exercise vigorously for 20 minutes to an hour. Or you can also do painting, music and dancing. You can go to your friends to pass the time so that your body starts to feel that you are no longer in danger. All these things can reduce your stress.
Ch 3: There are many other ways to avoid stress and frustration.
Before you embark on a mission to eliminate your frustration, you need to know which things are causing you stress and which of them you can control. After that you can work to eliminate them. First of all, let's talk about those situations which increase your stress and which you are not able to control. After facing such a situation, do those things which reduce your stress.
For example, if your job stresses you out, then put the work out for the evening. This way, when you come home full of stress, you will be able to reduce it by exercising. Also, you can reduce your stress by thinking positive. If some work is difficult, then you see what are the benefits of doing that work.
If one work is causing you a lot of frustration, then you should find the hidden opportunity in that work. But never turn your back on your problems and pretend that they are not there. Don't lie to yourself. You think that if any work is difficult, then its benefit will be more. After this, there are many such things, then they create
tension, but you can control them. Once you know what these things are, you can plan and control them. For example, if you're worried about being stuck in traffic everyday, you can find another way with your GPS. If you can't find another way, you can increase your knowledge by listening to an audiobook in your vehicle.
There is a process going on in our brain which we call monitor. Its job is to see where we are at the moment, where we have to go and how long we will reach there according to the way problems are coming to us.
The task of the monitor is to find out that after working hard, we will achieve our destination. But it is as much troubled by the problems it can control as it is bothered by the problems it can control. Once you learn how to approach these two problems separately, you can quiet the monitor.
Ch 4: By lowering your expectations, you can reduce your frustration.
Many people think before doing any work that that work will be very easy. So when they go to do it and the problem starts coming, they get frustrated. But if you understand in advance that this work is not going to be easy at all, then you will not be so frustrated when problems arise.
So first of all stop expecting too much from yourself. Don't think that everything will happen very easily. The more you prepare for life considering it difficult, the easier life will become for you. In one study some people were given to do an impossible task. When they could not do it, they started feeling very bad. But then he was told that the task was completely impossible. After knowing this, his tension subsided. This happens often with women.
It is often said in books and in the media that women have also become equal to men today and will not be discriminated against in any way. Because of this, they start expecting that society will treat them well when they go to the society. But when this does not happen, they become frustrated. Also, the marketing being done in today's society inspires us to have more expectations from ourselves. Health related products always have a photo of a person with perfect abs.
Whatever products are made for women, there are always some perfect looking models in their ads. This industry is called Bikini Industrial Complex, who are doing business of billions of dollars by showing the dream of making us perfect.
Many people use body mass index to stay healthy, which says that if you are thinner, you will be healthier and you will have less diseases.
But a 2016 study revealed that people who are obese are actually healthier than those who are thin. But women have been told from the beginning how good it is to be thin. Because if they had not been told this, they would not have tried to make themselves perfect by buying products from all over the world and those companies would not be able to make a profit. Therefore, there is no need to compare yourself with those models by believing such things.
Ch 5: Find the purpose of your life and don't let Human Giver Syndrome control you.
Have you ever wondered how some people always fight hard and get what they want? Have you ever wondered what it is that encourages people even in the worst of circumstances?
That thing is their wish. Such people always know what they want to achieve and how their life will change once they achieve it. Such people have a reason to keep moving forward which gives them encouragement in difficult times. Some people call it motive and some people call it destiny. If you also want this kind of encouragement, then you should also know what you need.
According to Martin Seligman, only the purpose of a person's life can keep him happy. His purpose gives meaning to his life and when he is not working to fulfill that purpose, he feels that his life is meaningless. But how can you find your purpose? What are the things that stop you from finding your purpose? This is the thing for women - Human giver syndrome.
In her book Down Girl, Kate Mann explains that there are two types of people in the world, human givers and human beings. The job of a human giver is to give human beings the means by which they can achieve their goals. Society has always kept women as human givers. Their job is to take care of the family so that they can help men, in fulfilling their purpose, they are taught that a woman's job is to think about others. They are never taught how to fulfill their own dreams.
Because of this many women are unable to find the purpose of their life because they feel that their purpose is to help someone else in fulfilling his purpose. If you want to find your purpose, you have to get out of Human Giver Syndrome.
Ch 6:By taking the help of people, you do not become weak but you become strong.
Many people believe that a capable person is one who does not need anyone. A capable person knows how to do his own work by himself. But the truth is that you can never become capable by being alone. You will always feel the need of others to seek information, to express your feelings.
But that doesn't mean you should always be with others. You should also spend some time alone so that you can understand yourself better by talking with yourself. Different people have different needs.
According to this, some people like to be alone more time and want to spend less time with others. We call them introverts. On the other hand some people like to spend more time with others and cannot be alone. Such people are called extroverts. It's not just about being with others that matters. It also matters how good we feel when we are with them.
If you are living with people you do not like, your health will be poor and you will not be able to take good care of yourself. Being alone in this way makes you weak, not strong. It is only with the help of others that you learn to love. Sometimes others tell us those things inside us that we can never know from ourselves.
Other people sometimes teach us something that we can never learn from ourselves. So never hold back from asking for help or building good relationships with people.
Ch 7: It is very important for you to rest and sleep.
Many people try to use the energy of the last drop inside them and use it so that they empty like a tube of toothpaste. They do not sleep because they believe that by doing so they are making themselves stronger. But doing so can prove to be very dangerous for your health.
You have to understand that working more does not mean doing good work. If you want to do good work then you have to take some rest in between your work. When you're at rest, your brain is actually trying to find a solution to that problem by using some other part of it. When we are doing some work, our brain is not able to use these parts properly.
That's why sometimes while resting, suddenly ideas come in our mind. The next time you get stuck in something, don't force yourself to do it. Rather, do the work of cleaning your house or packing your clothes. With this you will not have to find a solution, but it will come to you on its own. Also, you should not do one thing continuously.
You should change jobs from time to time because two different parts of our brain are used to do two different things. In this way, when we are doing the second task, the part of our brain that was doing the first thing is resting. Every part of our body is repairing itself while sleeping. Also, while sleeping, our brain stores information well so that we can remember it well. So never compromise with your sleep.
Ch 8: You can keep yourself happy by controlling the evil voice inside you and empathizing with yourself.
We all have our inner voice which keeps on reprimanding us all the time. Because many women are taught to spend their lives helping others and put the needs of others before their own, so whenever they make a mistake, they scold you and tell you that you are worth something.
Not there . That's why many women when they go to start something new, they give up very quickly because a part of them always tries to be perfect. When he is not able to become perfect, he thinks that he is not worthy of anyone. To make yourself successful, you have to control this voice. To do this, you give a name to that voice. You look at that voice in your mind like another person so that whenever that voice says bad to you, you feel that someone else is calling you bad.
This way you will be able to separate him from yourself and get over him. After this, to make yourself strong, you have to learn to empathize with yourself. To empathize with oneself is a way of healing one's own wounds. This may be a bit painful, but if you keep doing it for a long time, you will be able to bring relief to the parts inside you that have broken due to some reason.
In this way you can be happy. Many people think that happiness is a destination we can achieve. but it's not like that . Happiness is a moment that passes and we have to learn to bring it back. We have to learn to create our own happiness, because no matter how hard you try, you can't always be happy.
overall, To avoid burnout, we have to find work that we love to do. We have to stop thinking about others and think about ourselves and see what it is that gives us happiness. We should make a habit of exercising because by doing this we stress ourselves. At the same time, it is also important for us to sleep well and show empathy to ourselves because with this we are able to repair ourselves. You can do some exercises.
If you have pain somewhere in your body or you are not able to exercise due to any disease, then you can do deep breathing exercise. First of all, slowly breathe in for 5 seconds. Then hold it for 5 seconds. And in the next 10 seconds take it out slowly. After this take a break of 5 seconds and again repeat this exercise three times. Apart from this, you can also do this exercise. Tighten every muscle of your body one by one within 10 seconds and then release it. You can do this work sitting or lying down.
You can also this full book by clicking here Buy Now
0 Comments