How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie(book summary)
Make anyone your friend
in two words
How to Win Friends & Influence People can prove to be a very good book for those who have a good role in society. Want to make a mark or who have to work with many people every day. With the help of this book, you can win the hearts of people and create a good image of yourself in them.
Who is this for
- Those who want to create a good image in the people.
-Those who have to work with many people every day.
- Those who are a manager or CEO and want their employees to do well.
About the author
Dale Carnegie was an American author and lecturer known for his salesmanship, corporate training, and teaching the art of working with people. He was born in a poor family. His book How to Win Friends and Influence People which was written in 1936 is still very famous today.
Why you should read this book
When people around you like you, then living life has its own fun. You must definitely want that wherever you go, people talk to you well and respect you. So after all, how should you behave so that people make you happy? This book tells you how you can make new and good friends and win the trust of your peers. This book can prove to be very helpful for those who are salesman or are thinking of entering politics. How smiling can make a good impression on the person in front. How can you maintain your relationships? Why should you refrain from arguing?
chapter no 1:
Smiling is the best way to start a relationship with someone.
It is said that no one feels bad even for the abuse done by smiling. It is not necessarily what you say when you meet someone because people never remember your words. What matters is how you behave when you meet them. So what to do after meeting someone for the first time so that it makes a good impression on the person in front? In a word, smile. When we smile, the person in front feels that we are happy to meet them and we feel good with them. When the person in front sees that you are happy to meet him, then he also becomes happy. There are many other benefits of smiling. Psychologists have discovered that smiling automatically creates a feeling of happiness in us. If you are not in a good mood then you try to smile. This will make you happy. Smiling can make us happy, it also makes the person look at us happily, and just smiling when we meet someone makes a good impression on him. In this way, it has many benefits.
chapter no 2:
No one likes a person who complains about others.
When we do not like a person's words or actions, then we start complaining about him. Often our only motive behind making a complaint is to make him realize that he has made a mistake and to force him to rectify it. But this purpose is rarely fulfilled. The person we are complaining about sees it as an attack that hurts him somewhere. That's why he starts dropping arrows of his words in response and does not listen to you. In this way, both the people start fighting with each other and start disliking each other. Many celebrities had made it a rule not to complain. He had promised himself that he would never complain about anyone in front of people. Benjamin Franklin said don't do evil to any person. Abraham Lincoln also made a rule not to complain. Earlier, he openly used to do evil to everyone, but later he realized that it does more harm than less benefit. We all make mistakes in some work or the other. Therefore, it is better that you forgive the mistakes of the other and accept his shortcomings.
chapter no 3:
By praising others, you can maintain your relationship with them.
If a person likes us, then he accepts us quickly and does our said work immediately. But what should be done so that the person in front starts liking us? It's easy, keep praising them. Who doesn't like to hear their own praise? When you compliment someone, he likes it and because of this, he starts liking you. Since time immemorial, many people have done many things to get the love and praise of others. We sometimes risk our lives just so that we can be famous and get praise from people. So if you praise someone's work, he will do better next time. But if you threaten to fire someone or punish him for doing bad work, then maybe he will do better next time, but he will do that work without heart and at the same time will dislike you. It is enough to say thank you to someone for the work he has done. Apart from this, you can also use other words like sorry. While praising, keep one thing in mind that if your praise is not flattering. Because if so, then it will not have any special effect on the front. Think that everyone here has something to teach you and you can learn some good things by being with them. In this way, respect for them will automatically arise in you. Take others seriously and learn to appreciate their work honestly.
chapter no 4:
If you want others to take interest in you, then first take interest in them.
If you want to get respect, then first learn to give respect. You can't expect to get anything from someone without giving something. So if you want others to take interest in you, then you have to take interest in them yourself. By taking interest in others, we mean listening carefully to their words. If you start talking about the person in front of you again and again, then the person in front will feel that you are not taking interest in his words and then he will also not take interest in you. There are many other benefits of listening. If you listen carefully to the person in front, then you can know many things about him. You can understand them better by knowing about their private things, their likes, and dislikes, and other things. Once you have understood the person in front, then you talk about what he likes to talk about. In this way, you can build a good relationship with him. So now when you meet someone, don't speak your mind first. You force the person in front to speak as much as you can so that you can understand him/her better. Give him your full attention while at the same time making him feel that you are really interested in what he is saying.
chapter no 5:
Identify people's preferences and talk about them.
We feel very happy when things are happening in our minds. If you are interested in cricket and you sit with someone who is talking about cricket, then it is obvious that you will listen to his words very well and talk to him as well. In this way, a good conversation and a good relationship can be started between you two. So the next time you go to meet someone, try to find out what he is interested in and gather some information about this, in this way you will be able to talk to that person better and for a long time. . But gathering information before meeting someone every time can be a little daunting. Maybe you have to meet many people in a single day or maybe you have to meet someone about whom you don't know anything. In such a situation, talk to that person only about him. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. So whenever you meet someone, you should praise them a little. Tell them what you like about their eyes or hair. Whenever someone hears good things about himself, he becomes happy. This is a topic that everyone is interested in and there is a way in which you can make a place in someone's heart very quickly.
chapter no 6:
People like those who remember everything about them.
When you show someone that you care a lot, people start liking you. If you want people to like you, the first thing you have to do is show them that you care. But how ? Talk to others enthusiastically. Your enthusiasm should show that you really want to hear what he is saying. Apart from this, try to remember whatever they say. Try to remember their name, address, or birthday. It sounds like a difficult task, but there are many benefits to this difficult task. When you remember someone's name and use his name again and again while talking, he likes it and he starts liking you immediately. While talking, keep taking his name from time to time. It was the habit of Theodore Roosevelt that whenever he met his companions, he used to greet them by name. In this way, he became very famous among his peers, which also benefited him over time.
chapter no 7:
There is no use in arguing with anyone.
You can be smart if you argue with someone and prove them wrong, but if you don't argue at all, you are a genius. A sensible person does not do that work which has less profit and more harm. If we talk about the debate, then it only harms us. While arguing, no one can get his point across. The only way to avoid an argument is to end it before it starts. If someone says something in front of you that you do not agree with, then do not argue with him. Either ignore his words or ask yourself whether he is saying right or not. By asking yourself such questions, you can create new thoughts inside yourself. It can never happen that two people always agree with each other. Sometimes two different ideas clash. Sometimes while arguing, they include their feelings in it, and when they get to hear something very wrong, they get angry because it hurts their feelings. So if you really don't agree with the person in front and want to say something in response, then first of all take your feelings out of that debate and also tell the person in front that he should not mind your point of view. Even if you do, you will save your relationships.
chapter no 8:
Don't tell others that they are wrong.
When you make someone feel that they are wrong, you are actually hurting their self-esteem. If you say that he is wrong, then he will feel that you are telling him that he is stupid or that you are more intelligent than him. In this way, a wound will be created inside them and then they will start thinking of taking revenge for it. So whenever you feel that the person is saying something wrong, then talk to him in this way. You tell them that - "I understand.." or "As far as I know..". After that, you keep your word. The advantage of talking in this way is that even if the person knows that he is speaking wrong, he will not feel bad about it. But when you say- "It is quite clear that.." Or there can be no doubt that.. " then the other person starts feeling from inside that you are trying to prove him wrong. Learn to oppose someone in such a way that he does not feel that you are trying to prove him wrong. Use some such sentence at the end of your talk- "I think so but I could be wrong too.
chapter no 9:
Admit your mistakes without delay.
It often happens that when we make a mistake, we hide it or blame it on someone else. We are not prepared to accept that the fault is ours. In our efforts, we try to prove our innocence but it does not have much effect. Therefore, if you make a mistake anywhere, then accept it without delay. When the other person is going to scold you for your mistake and you apologize to him at the same time, then you will calm his anger to some extent. For example, take the author who once walked his dog without a leash. An officer saw him and the writer understood that now trouble is going to come on him. He immediately admitted that he had made a mistake and the officer let him go without a fine. If you do evil to yourself in front of people, then it will not insult you. But if someone else does evil to you in front of people, then you will be insulted. So it is better that you accept your mistake. This shows that you recognize your shortcomings and try to improve them.
chapter no 10:
To persuade others, get them to call yes as soon as possible.
People do not like that someone is playing with their thinking. Therefore, if you want to get someone to talk to you, then do not immediately put your thoughts in front of them. Do this in a way that increases your chances of getting a yes in the answer. First of all, talk to the person in front of you so that he starts liking you and he listens to you well. If the person in front does not like you, then he will not listen to you. After this, by asking some questions, make sure that the thing for which you want to make him yes, he is interested in that work and he also thinks like you. If it is not so, then he will not be interested in what you have said and he will say no. After this, call the person in front of you as soon as possible. Socrates had told the best way for this - when the person in front of you is answering most of the questions yes, then understand that even when you talk to him about work, he will say yes. So you ask him some small questions, to which he has to answer yes. In this way, he will agree with your point.
Overall, if you want people to like you, then, first of all, you have to like them and show interest in their words. Never try to prove them wrong and admit your mistakes immediately, keep smiling while talking to someone because it shows that you like him and in return, he starts liking you too. smile, please. Next time you meet someone new or meet an old friend, welcome them with a smile. In this way, you can make a good impression on the person in front of you, so that you can start a new and better relationship.
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