You Do You by Sarah Knight book summary
Be yourself and move on.
In two words,
You Do You (2017) will reveal those absurd norms that will force you to rethink your relationship with yourself. This summary full of truth will tell you how by adopting yourself you can get everything that you desire,
who is it for?
- Individualists and Contrarians
- Conformists tired of the rules
- Freedom fighters in search of happiness.
About the author
Sarah Knight is a freelance and anti-guru writer, best known for her best-selling 'Tell It Like It Is Taken'. He has authored many more books such as The Life-Changing Habit of Not Giving a Fuck, A Guide to Using Your Time More Wisely, which is based on a TEDTalk that has crossed 6 million views.
Chapter 1:
The world is full of many rules that are not necessary to follow.
'Be Yourself' sounds very easy but it is the most difficult skill. That's why most people often spend their whole life making others happy instead of searching for their own happiness. . This skill is difficult to learn but not impossible, let's see how this skill can be learned in the eyes of best selling anti-guru Sara Knight. Sara is a woman who knows what it's like to be involved in a life you haven't designed for, and how a person can change all of these things to realize real happiness. Its secret is just three words: You, Do, You Sara says that you should put your happiness above all else. And no one should be given so much right that someone should come and tell you what to do and what not to do. So what if your dreams are weird? So what if you're weird yourself? What do people think about you, life is too high for all these things. Apart from this, in this summary, you will know how your shortcomings can become your superpower?, How to keep your interest ahead without being called a fool? And what can a kitty litter tray do for your mental health? Life is full of many rules, many of which are not recorded anywhere and have been imposed on us by society. Some of these very good rules are 'Don't tag your friends in silly photos' and 'Don't open the door without wearing clothes'.
But there are also many such rules which are absurd and our society is full of such people who always tell us when we should go to college, when we should have kids and what we should wear for the party. By breaking these rules. You will not go to jail but you will definitely be separated from society. But the reality is that no one knows who you are and what makes you happy. If you live life according to others, you will lose yourself somewhere, as well as you can bring down the level of your life and your life can be very bad. In this summary, you will learn how you can get out of this trap. You will learn what are social expectations, how you can remove the burden from yourself by not doing some of these expectations. The best way to adopt these things is to adopt a model called 'Mental Redecoding' a method with the help of which you can accept the shortcomings. The point here is that there is nothing wrong with who you are and what makes you happy, rather bad are the rules that say you are wrong.
Chapter 2:
No matter what society tells you, it is not always necessary to give your best, become a team player, put others forward,
if some rules mean something, then there are some rules which are senseless, how can you recognize them? If there is such a rule that does more harm to you and helps less to people, then you should question it. It puts three common commandments in front of you - "Give your hundred percent, be a team player, and most importantly... don't be mean." Let's assume that you always have to give your hundred percent. By the way, doing this continuously can put you in a lot of trouble and also be harmful to your health. Know from the author: For years, the whole morning used to get up before the sun came out and used to study day and night. His grades in college were also very good. But in the midst of all this, he did not pay attention to his health and due to this, a lump was born in his throat. Always keeping yourself perfect can also become the reason for your sadness and disappointment. Think of it this way - if your Uber rating is at the top, it has to be brought down to change it! This shows that you should show some kindness to yourself and accept the fact that you cannot always be perfect. Then comes this rule that 'You should always listen to the team, it is absolutely right to put your interest first. But just putting your needs and things in front and ignoring people's needs and things makes you mean which you have to avoid. You don't have to be mean but you don't have to help others by putting yourself in trouble. Because if you yourself are safe, then only you will be able to help someone else.
If you forget this, then remember it from this example - you are given the first instruction to wear an oxygen mask yourself in an airplane because if you are safe then only you will be able to wear an oxygen mask to your child too. Lastly, it is very important to understand that many people are team players and many are not team players. If you are not a team player then there is nothing wrong with it. You just accept yourself as you are. There is no harm in standing firm on your rules, but the thing is that many times you will be told that you are a very harsh person and this action will also be called childish, but you do not have to pay attention to people's words. And keep moving towards your goal. Imagine you're in a restaurant and you love to have your steak right. Although this happens very rarely as soon as the waiter brought your order you reminded him back about the steak. Many people can say that you are removing unnecessary flaws. If keeping your choices in front of the world makes you tough, then that's right. But that doesn't mean that you should be fooled by all this. Standing up for yourself helps you to take many important decisions in life. Because sometimes the decisions of others can stop you in life. Let's say that you want to leave your job but you are very worried that if you do so, there may be a problem of money in your house and your life can be difficult, then it is justified not to leave the job with this thought. But do not leave the job because of the thought that what people will say is not justified at all.
Chapter 3:
You are free to design the success yourself and you can take any path to reach there,
many people follow different types of paths to reach their destination, some easy, some a little difficult but which path do you take? It is none other than you should think. Now take Sara only, she believes that it is an easy decision to have children if you want to do it then do it if you do not want to do it then don't. But taking the second decision from these becomes very difficult. When the author decided that she did not want to have children, many people started telling her that she would regret it later. And in the same way, many people are often forced to do what they do not want to do. Doing something that people want, but you are not, is not permissible at all because you will have to bear the consequences, not them. If you want to be a vegetarian then go ahead, if you don't want to have kids then don't if you are not forcing people for something then they don't have the right to force you. Many times we are told that getting a college and a job is a success but it is not necessary, actually, success means whether you are able to accomplish your own goals or not. If someone wants a high-paying job, someone wants a good family life, the meaning of success can be different for everyone. Being pessimistic and awkward has its advantages. "You can't go anywhere with such an attitude" is the line people often say to those who want to get out of the hollow rules of society or want to do something new. What they mean is that your behavior is very strange and you have to change to fit in the society. There are no crossroads that in contemporary western society it is believed that if you want to be successful you have to be optimistic but some people like writers have been natural pessimists. Sometimes being a pessimist proves to be very beneficial because they know that something bad can happen, so they have a plan B ready in advance but an optimist cannot do it at all. That's why sometimes pessimistic people complete their work quickly because they think that some bad time may come or something untoward may happen and in these rounds, they complete their work before the deadline. This tells us that we should not suppress the negativity inside us, rather we should see it as a gesture of time and we should not bother at all that people call us strange.
Chapter 4:
Getting help when you need it and setting your priorities is essential to your mental health If you went to a writer's office a few years ago,
you would have found a strange thing - a litter tray filled with sand and it was under her desk. In which she used to put her feet in the middle. To know why she used to do this, we have to go back a little. The author had her first panic attack at the age of 31. Earlier, she was very upset about taking advice from the doctor, she did not want anyone to think that she was crazy. But she decided to see the doctor and when she went to the doctor, she was asked to write down everything that made her happy. The author first wrote to put her feet in the sand in the middle. So that's why she used to keep sand in a litter tray. We learn from this that - the first thing is that there are many stigmas related to mental health. But fearing these things, we should not hold back from seeking help. Also, it may sound strange but a tray of sand can be essential for your mental health. Taking care of yourself isn't just about fighting your problems, but it also means prioritizing things in your life. Sometimes we hear that "family comes first" but it is up to you who you want to put first. Suppose your brother Rahul and your friend Aditya get married on the same day. If you want to go to Rahul's wedding, then Aditya will definitely understand your condition. But what if you go to Aditya's wedding? Still Rahul will remain your brother because you must know that the color of blood is darker than water. There is no harm in taking decisions according to your priority but what matters is your long term relationship.
Chapter 5:
Accepting you as you mean ignoring what people think about you
We are always under pressure to appear or act in a particular way. By fulfilling these things of the society, this pressure can definitely be reduced but it cannot give us happiness. We can get happiness only when we do some work in our mind or in our own way. This means that if you want, you can get out of the rules of society, but it does not mean that you should behave badly with people. When the writer lived in New York, a person always asked her to smile but she used to think that what is the use of having a fake smile? You should also take care that you stay away from friends who call you bad because you are better at something. In 2005, when the author was 26 years old, she gave a presentation to her superiors in a publishing house which was quite good. And she told this to one of her colleagues who said that she praises herself or rather that she is a self-congratulatory person. But if this ever happens to you, then keep in mind that self-esteem and confidence are your own abilities and you should not be shy about it.
Overall, there are many rules in the world, it is better that we ignore them and work with our minds. When we accept ourselves, we move faster towards our goal and this leads us to the path of happiness. Take care of WND This is an easy way to help you prioritize things - What do you want? ( what do you want ) , what do you need? (What do you need?) What do you deserve? (What are you entitled to?)
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